my retreat would start now...

hm, today would be my retreat day...i just received my letter yesterday from michael...i did got a glimpse of it because he used a signpen...

i'm a nursing student of St. Paul University Manila, and I am proud to be one...hehe...

Retreat is a religious or spiritual term for time taken to reflect or meditate, it is to withdraw from everyday complicated living....

as far as I could remember I had my retreat during my senior year in highschool...it was indeed a memorable one because I had my bonding with my best friends during that time...and I loved that one because I am with the people I had grown up with since gradeschool...]

but now is just another thing...

I am with new persons, totally strangers...totally not my kind...totally different...I had my new set of friends but i guess nothing could ever compare that of my chigh-school friends (child and highschool)....still I had to open my heart not only to myself and to god but also to other people as well...maybe things are not always the way it should be...sometimes it would just go the other way but still things would go for the best, in due time...

what's funny is that i remembered my self during the year 2006, when I got to go for the retreat of someone special (in the past)...and he said that if would have a retreat during my college years he would do the same as I did...even more special...

but...I had a different letter today...another 'someone' did it for me, not exactly as I did, but he did something more special...i guess more effort because he don't write letters, he had a hard time doing it for sure...(as I peeked from it, it seems so formal....hehe)

and...

starting today I am withdrawing myself from everything (except my case study, i had to pass it on sunday morning...hehe)...guess what?!! I didn't bring my phone...hehe...and it is the choice I had done for today...I am standing alone and waiting to explore many things from my heart that I was not able to reflect upon...its just a deep dark forest with a little bit of light (these are the persons whom I cherish and support me) as I see it today...

I am hoping that even for just a little span of time, I would be able to heal the wounds that hadn't heal times from the past....it's just deep....only time would be able to heal it and forgiveness (if I would give myself a chance)....hoping for greater possibilities during the retreat...and hoping to finish my case study and some requirements...hehe...

KEEP MOVING FORWARD!!!

see you this saturday...^_^

just looking back..

tonight i found myself looking for something in my mailbox..then viola..! i saw all my past messages since highschool...and I find myself smiling while reading it...it's like reading my biography...written by people who had and always become special in my life..though somethings didn't work out, still there is a part of me that's left with all of them...even enemy turned friend and the special people turned enemy to a nobody...i know i had something that's left in their hearts...

my past isn't that bad, it's just in a matter of time people change because of the environment, because of people around them..maybe one particular moment i changed too...i know, i changed a lot since i entered college...but i tried my best to compensate with radical changes that occurs...i guess they tried their best too...but the best wasn't good enough...the thing is you wouldn't have any regrets if you have given your heart and didn't quit...time would change the love you have felt for the person be it romantic or not...but still the thought is "kahit kelan hindi naging mali ang magmahal, hindi mali ang minahal ka at nagmahal ka...sana kahit yun lang hindi makuhang baguhin ng panahon..."

well in fact i wouldn't be here in my shoes if I didn't experienced failure, regret, sadness. I wouldn't be happy. there is no much learning in success, sometimes we have learn to fail and be hurt. how ironic right? but still it works for some people...the movie one more chance here in the Philippines doesn't only talk about the two lovers; it just talks about letting go of the past but not forgeting everything about it; giving your heart a time to heal. (i just inserted the movie thing because I was litening to its soundtrack).

reading my past messages is somewhat my routine sometimes when i feel a bit bad...its make me feel goOd in a way that I become thankful with what I have and cherish right now...but in cases, sometimes it makes me more depressed...haha...it's kinda bit disturbing as a emotional therapy..haha....

still, CHERISH the PAST, LOVE the PRESENT, and PLAN for the FUTURE... or whatever you may say...GIVE IT AGAIN ONE MORE SHOT...it wouldn't be bad, believe me...

clueless

something is missing now...i just don't know...its maybe the feeling na parang I want to go back the way I used to be...but I can't....I just cant...

just a little happening..

Today, I was just able to create this blog thing...OMG posting a blog was not a piece of cake. And I was so happy that i was able to finally create one (from this site).

Today I just watched a movie, it really caught my attention because things in life are really evident in the movie, even if it is a love story. Right now honestly, I am not in the mood to write a thing in here...haha...but it's ok...i'll try to write one...

"We make our own destiny, it is our destiny to make one." That is the line that caught my attention. Many people always say that many things would happen because their destiny would dictate. But now its different...we are the ones who make our own life stories...it is not God who write us one, but it is him who only provide us choices and paths...Now I've got something to blog on...

Dramatic, dark, and surprisingly funny - that is few description of what we call destiny. Destiny is when we bring our will to bear and become conscious of our thoughts, feeling and emotions; where we take an active role in life and use our own innate consciousness and awareness to choose which direction we want our life to flow in. Following one's destiny is much more proactive: it is exciting and full of joy and happiness, as the universe rewards you with these feelings for the success you are having in fulfilling your destiny. There are so many people that would always say that it is their destiny that will decide what will be their life. A sprinkle of wisdom, courage and love, is all we need to be able to shape our lives - to write our own life story and see a wonderful ending.

Here's a question...what will be your destiny? what is the ending of your life story? would you be happy?